Cheating
A lot of people have been discussing cheating recently, and I think it's such an interesting topic, because the internet is changing how people cheat. How do you define cheating?
Any sexual interaction (outside of an off-color joke) with someone who's not your spouse/significant other is absolutely cheating. I think most people agree with me, but I had a weird discussion with a friend of a friend that kind of made me wonder where other people's minds are on this issue.
One time, I told that guy that I thought that regular, away-from-the-spouse porn watching was kind of like cheating, too, and the guy flipped his lid. He just thought it was normal to look at porn by himself all the time. No way, buddy, that's what a girlfriend is for! Get out of magazine/internet land and meet someone who's real! Now, you understand that I am not intending to imply that sex is all that women are good for, I am just making the point that people need to seek out REAL partners. God didn't make Adam and a Playboy.
A friend recently sent me this list:
- Had phone sex, IM sex, or any kind of cybersex with a stranger while in a different relationship.
- Had phone sex, IM sex, or any kind of cybersex with someone you know while in a different relationship.
- Kissed someone else.
- Had sex with an ex while in a different relationship.
- Had sex with someone you'll never see again while in a different relationship.
- Hooked up with someone while you were in the beginning stages of a relationship when you weren't officially a couple.
What do you think? I think they are all forms of cheating, because the intent is similar to the cheating-with-the-secretary type of thing. Even the last one is a bit of a no brainer. If you two said you would be monogamous (which was the only form of dating I tried to do) and then one person is secretly still dating others, then that's cheating.
Do you think technology has changed cheating? Are some of those things on the list not "really" cheating on someone? Is techology just an excuse for bad behavior? I am really interested in hearing what everyone has to say on this.
posted by Dani_P at 10/10/2006 05:56:00 AM
3 Comments:
If any of this list occurs AFTER you and the person you are dating have had the "this is an exclusive dating relationship" discussion, then yes...it is all cheating. And yes, the internet makes it easy. I ranted about it last December over at my blog when I found out about a hook up site that is for people in relationships to find other people for the purpose of cheating. The tag line is "When Monogamy Becomes Monotomy" WTF?
Ok. When I was single, before Craig and I "decided" and all that good stuff, I did what I wanted to within my conscience. I talked to people in Chat, had a date, that sort of thing. I did not want a relationship I was just meeting people. But now, since it happened, I do not want nor NEED to do any of that. And I think if people find themselves looking elsewhere then they need to reconsider their relationship. A special note on porn: Craig is in Iraq. For both of us, it has its uses. Even together it does. But some people get to into it that yes, they fail to meet real people, and who knows where that issue really starts. But porn is not an issue for me.
Yeah. It's not so much the being apart bit. It's about the control and insecurity behind the porn that I think is a kind of cheating. For instance, some men just can't or won't tell their wives what they want and turn to porn as their outlet.
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